Earlier this year I made a conscientious decision to stop whining and start feeling really grateful. I mean stupid-thankful. For everything I experience on a daily basis.
When I tell people about this experiment, they look a little dumbfounded. No, this isn’t revolutionary stuff. But it goes against the norm, I suppose. That’s why I’m sharing it with you here, in case you wanna give it a go. Since it’s the holidays and what not.
It’s been an interesting and revealing effort. A little backstory. At some point, I “woke up” to the excessive complaining in my life. It was coming at me from every angle. It felt like I was being dragged down by it — against my will — until I realized something.
I was not only condoning it, I was contributing to it. The complaints were coming from me, too. Yes, it’s possible most likely that I was the worst offender.
Here I was listening, nodding, and sympathizing every time someone whined about something. Even worse, I was adding my own stories to the conversation. “Ugh, I know. Me too. Listen to this…,” came out of my mouth so easily. I had condoned the ritual and contributed to keeping it alive.
When I started to break the pattern, it wasn’t easy.
Initially there was a lot of resistance — both internally and externally — when I started breaking the habit. There were some tough conversations. There were some blank stares. There were also some slightly angry looks when I stopped encouraging the negativity.
Then it got easier.
Instead of whining, I started sharing joyfully. Instead of pour mouthing I started talking about the wealth we experience on a daily basis. Instead of looking for reasons to complain, I started finding hundreds of thousands of reasons to feel joyful.
My inner monologue shifted and I found myself thinking things like:
- “Yay! It’s sunny today. We needed the rain but, man, I’m so happy to see those beautiful blue skies again. They make me so happy.”
- “Whoa, we still have a lot of work left on getting this house in order. But, you know what? Look at all the things we’ve already accomplished! We’ve done a lot of hard work, and it looks good!”
- “Although this didn’t go quite the way I’d hoped, it’s actually turned out for the best. I’m not only OK with that, I’ve learned a lesson from this disappointment! Hooray!”
Yes. It feels ridiculous to write those things down and share them with you here. You’re probably thinking, “Really, Camden? Does anyone think that way?! You’re crazy.”
The truth is: yes and no. Very few people think this way, including me. But when I made a concerted effort to change my inner monologue, start being thankful for everything that comes my way, and encouraging others to do the same it changed everything.
It’s a lot like the “fake it ’til you make it” mantra.
Instead of whining about stuff, I started to revel in the little joys. I cherished the truly happy moments more. I let them wash over me and basked in them for a lot longer.
It’s been pretty awesome. Y’all. I highly recommend it!
Not only will it change your attitude, it’ll change your outlook on your life. It’ll help you feel happy on a regular basis, and I’m told that’s good for your health. It also makes the world a better place, believe it or not.
When you’re happy, you make others happy. (The opposite is true, too.) Simply by feeling deep, gratifying joy on a daily basis you can make the world a brighter place for others. It may sound absurd but it’s true.
For example, one day this week someone stopped me in my tracks. He looked at me and smiled, “We don’t know each other well, but I always see you. I wanted you to know that you have the sunniest disposition and I really appreciate it. You’re always so happy!”
Another person talked to me this summer and made a similar comment. He cocked his head to the side and said, “You’re genuinely happy, aren’t you?! Are you always this happy?!”
I do love to smile! But I’m rarely as wide-eyed and wired as Buddy the Elf. (OK, maybe I do when I’m on set drooling over a camera or sitting in a Tesla.)
See what I mean? I could give you plenty of conversations like that but the point is this: when you’re happy, you can actually make others feel joy. You can brighten their day simply by feeling joyful and stupid-thankful for everything that happens in your life. It’s pretty incredible when you stop to think about it.
Does that mean I am happy allllll the time? Absolutely not.
Yes, I have a lot of rough days. Yes, I get cranky. Yes, I want to stay in bed with a pint of Phish Food and let the world carry on without me. Those things happen and I’m not trying to hide them.
I am human, you know.
And, look, I’m not trying to steal anyone’s misery. If you like being miserable, then have at it. If you’ve got bigger issues to tackle, like clinical depression, that’s a different matter. You’ll find no judgment here. I understand that’s a more complex issue that what I’m discussing here.
This idea is pretty simple, however.
If you’re willing to start from a place of feeling really grateful for everything in your life, it completely changes your life. You start to cherish everything. You somehow feel more alive and happy. You get more comfortable feeling joy on a regular basis. You invite more joy into your life. And a by-product is that you accidentally start to make others feel happy, too. It’s pretty awesome.
The best part about all of this? You can start right now. No one is selling you anything because it’s totally FREE. You can alter your behavior if you want.
So start small. Find one thing each day to cherish slightly more than normal, like the penny you found on the ground. Then start reveling in the things you may take for granted: warm coffee in your cup, a car to get you to work, a warm bed at night. Pretty soon you’ll find yourself feeling happy about many more things.
Then go from there. One day you might find that everyone is whining about the weather while you’re out singing in the rain.
Report back with your wins. I’d love to hear how it goes.
PS: Every month I send out a free email with alllll of the things going on in my world as a filmmaker. It comes from a place of genuine (not obnoxious) gratitude. I consider myself pretty lucky to be making these film dreams come true. So check it out and sign up here: