Brewconomy Backer Update Video

Last weekend I spent a few hours on a Brewconomy backer update video. I created a set, added props, set up lights, chose a camera angle, wrote a script, shot, and edited everything myself. Doing that all while having hair and makeup ready to go, too!

It’s no small feat.

Not because of the camera difficulties or getting hair and makeup ready. I’m well versed in doing all of that alone. But because talking on camera — esp. directly into the camera — mostly makes me wanna puke.

You see, as a little girl I dreamt of becoming a famous actress. But as I started getting older, I realized there were parts of acting that I didn’t like, including the part where you have to be on camera a lot.

It’s an odd thing that has no rational explanation, as far as I’m concerned. It’s like wanting to be a race car driver but fearing the speed. Tell me how that would work?

Overcoming this objection to being on camera has been a big goal of mine for a while now.

It started when I was asked to shoot a promotional video for the IMAX Raleigh premiere of Abandoned Allies in 2012. Some very kind friends offered to help shoot it. We got set up and everything looked great. But I totally flubbed it and never worked up the courage to edit what we’d worked so hard to shoot.

I felt like a huge failure. I still feel like I let them down. It’s so disappointing.

Then I had to go on camera for an interview at WRAL to promote the same screening. I’ve never come so close to literally puking before going on camera. I could hardly breathe and felt like I was going to pass out.

Then we had to go on camera AGAIN to shoot the Brewconomy Kickstarter video. All the things I’d read about these fundraising videos said you had to put yourself in front of the lens so people could bond with you, feel like they could trust you. So, I tried it again.

There, in front of my entire team, I got totally bent out of shape while talking into the camera. I couldn’t remember what I needed to say. I started sweating profusely. I kinda ran out of the room, totally embarrassed.

Sensing a theme?

There have been — and will continue to be — times that I need to go on camera to talk about my work. As a director, that’s part of the gig. I gotta get over it.

Yes, it’s funny. I avoided acting because I don’t want to be on camera. Now find myself facing the same challenge as a director. Naturally.

Now you have a small glimpse into why last weekend’s video was such a momentous thing in my world. It was one small step towards getting over this thing. It’s something I’m incredibly happy about, even though I have a long way to go from here.

Now tell me: what’s one big fear you’ve overcome? How’d you do it?

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