Running is something I do to clear my head. It keeps me healthier, happier, and more energetic. I sleep better when I have been running on a regular basis. When I sleep better, I usually eat things that are better for me, too. All of these things, on a very basic level, help me clear my head.
While running today I thought about emotions, and specifically how humans handle them. One of the things I love about filmmaking is the study of the human condition. Today I found myself thinking about characters, what motivates them, and how they handle emotions they feel in certain circumstances.
Because I was feeling angry today, I had a great run. I used that energy to physically push me forward while running. It’s very hard to stay angry or think too much when you’re running — especially with a pit bull.
My dog, Louie, is incredibly loyal and sweet but when we’re running he can be a real d-bag. He’s a loaded weapon, just waiting for a chance to prove his masculinity. Any time another dog is close by, he lunges and growls like he’s going to kill that dog. This is all an act, though. He’s just being loud, and I know that growl isn’t a real one.
People, like pit bulls, are often so misunderstood.
Louie, my pit bull mix, is an incredibly loving and loyal dog. He’s taught me a lot.
I’ve learned so much from my pit bull mix over the years. He’s a good dog but our relationship wasn’t always a healthy one because I didn’t understand him. Then Cesar Millan saved our lives in 2007. “The Dog Whisperer” helped me understand how my dog is communicating — with his body. I began to understand, and then quickly fall in love with studying physical communication.
Humans communicate with our bodies, too, of course. We also have ways of communicating that can fail us miserably. We say one thing and do another. We act out. We seek love and acceptance, but we treat others with hatred or harshness. We are complex creatures — sometimes.
As Herman Hesse so eloquently put it: people are children.
This, I think, is one of the reasons I love filmmaking. Characters can be complex, but we can only live with them for a short time. We write them into existence, change them, and then leave them. We need characters to make a film, yet we abandon them quickly as filmmakers, ready to move onto something else.
I once wanted to be a famous actress. The thought of living someone else’s life for a limited time thrilled me. I could learn a character and her history, motivations, and physicality. I could step away from my own life and pour my everything into making this written character come to life for a little while. Acting is a very attractive thing — even now.
Earlier this year I finally finished my first screenplay. It’s a short little film that entertains me a lot. I’m producing the film to get a handle on narrative filmmaking. I absolutely loved writing these characters and translating their thoughts into actions, not words. The screenplay has very little dialogue in order to focus on their physicality. It was a lot of fun to write. I can’t wait to start shooting it.
There are some days where filmmaking is so tough. I don’t even understand my obsession with it because it’s just so difficult. Then there are challenging days, like today, that manage to make me fall in love with filmmaking all over again. I forget how difficult it is to make a film, and I simply revel in the fun.
There are so many things I just love about filmmaking.